razorice

Realization? or Cynicism? // Great weekend

2008-03-03T05:28:29Z

I've begun to find that people I used to like... I don't anymore.
Maybe I've just been irritable from lack of sleep or stress or something, but people are beginning to annoy me.
It's really not that bad, but it's concerning me, cause some of these people I've claimed as some of my better friends.
Also... since when am I stressed?

One week left...

On a lighter note... this weekend was amazing!
Hung out with Jess-cuh, Convon, and Becca on Friday, had a workday on Saturday morning, and then went to the Bang Gang Gang Bang that night. I then came home today at noon, crashed at 1, and woke up at 6... whoops!
It's gonna be hard getting up tomorrow, cause it's gonna be hard going to sleep... crap, lol.
Oh well, I had a great weekend! ^_^

so i read all these entries..

2007-11-10T03:54:57Z

and i cant help but think about how i really dont know that much about anyone, yet it seems many people know me inside and out. maybe it's cause i wear my feelings on my sleeve? maybe its because im predictable? hell, maybe its cause im a much more typical guy than i think i am? hmm...

*this was written at 7:45ish this morning, i just didnt get a chance to actually post it*

--Adam

ba doom ba deeda

2007-11-07T04:14:45Z

Contrary to my Subject, this entry has nothing to do with singing... :-P
So, I'm sitting here, thinking about my day.
It was a good day, the morning bus ride was fun, I found this cool magnet... that I then proceeded to lose... haha, oh well. After that, I headed over to the theatre hall for a few minutes before class, and have a fun conversation with Jon, Sarah, Derek, and several others, and proceed onto class. Algebra, well, it was Algebra. Oh right, I actually like Algebra... haha, but yea, I hadn't done my homework, and guess what? He didn't pick it up! Woo! Problem was, he then assigned this beastly Hodgepodge due on Friday...bah. Chemistry was fun, English was crazy, Lunch. Ah Lunch... haha, for whatever reason, we sat inside, and I'm glad we did. Apparently everyone loves Mom's tuna. Yay her I guess, but that just means lotsa moochers for me! Haha, but I don't mind. Anywho, back to why lunch was so great. I was told that I was a genuinely good person and that I was nice and generous and what not. Now, I have heard it before, but for whatever reason, it just made me feel amazing hearing it from Mandy and having everyone agree. But then of course, Shelby goes and tells everyone about my curiosities about the female species. Haha, just kidding Shelby, you know I love you. :-P But yea, I didn't mind, it was rather funny. The only thing I'm wondering about now is what exactly she told Mandy... Ah well, my fault in the end if anything I didn't want getting out got out, haha. ANYWHO, on with the day. Latin was...Latin. Boring, fun, interesting, mind numbing. Computer Science was interesting, but I'm rather annoyed that my program didn't work... and that Jessica's did, haha. Maybe I just copied something from the book wrong. Ah well. While I was helping her with her program, and I found the mistake, and fixed it she said that I was really smart. Again, I've heard it before, but it just made me feel great! I dunno if it was the weather, or something was different today, but I felt amazing, haha. Anywho, on to History! We had lots of boring notes... blah. Then, in tech, we did the usual. Goof around, get a lot of stuff done, have some fun, leave. I hung out a little bit after school, said hey to some people, and got on the bus to go home. Another fun bus ride. I tickled the crap out of Haylee, and she fell on her knees out of her seat, so I went to tickle her more from under the seat. Haha, it was quite funny. :-P Then, I went home, talking to Ami, which was fun. I always do have a good time talking to her. She's changed a lot since Elementary school, go figure! Haha. Anyway, after school, I did the usual, run around the internet, slack off on homework, talk to friends. Then, I saw someone's Facebook status, and while probably taking it the wrong way, I started thinking about a buddy of mine. He's a great friend, but an absolute idiot. He really needs to get his shit together and look around him. I can easily count off several people he's hurting by being blind and not seeing how his actions are affecting other people whom I know he cares about. I realize that I really don't know much about all the details of this mess he's in, but I know enough to realize that he's not being the smartest. He's just having fun, when he should be at least some how thinking. Anyway, after that, I talked to some people, and thought about doing homework, and decided to write this instead! Haha, I'm so bad...
OH! My ring being gone is also annoying me... I keep feeling the phantom feelings because it's not there anymore... :(
Ah well, all in all, it was a good day.

--Adam

incredible conversation with greg...

2007-10-19T02:55:13Z

this all stems from my personal religious views which will follow this entry, some time in the near future (this weekend, i hope) so if you feel slightly lost in the first several lines, dont fret, i will post my thoughts soon.

anywho, on to the conversation, and please disregard the crap IM talk... haha
im ACDC RoXoR, by the way, lol

wafflesontheroof: i like it
ACDC RoXoR: me too
ACDC RoXoR: hah
wafflesontheroof: liked the part about love
wafflesontheroof: one thing i thought about was where did the soul come from?
ACDC RoXoR: im not really sure
ACDC RoXoR: there are a lot of consistencies
wafflesontheroof: if you think about it
ACDC RoXoR: err
ACDC RoXoR: inconsistencies
wafflesontheroof: we just are
ACDC RoXoR: yea
wafflesontheroof: we are
wafflesontheroof: weare
ACDC RoXoR: you could also argue
ACDC RoXoR: there is no soul
ACDC RoXoR: its all chemicals
ACDC RoXoR: cause when you think about it
ACDC RoXoR: there is some chemical to describe EVERYTHING
ACDC RoXoR: dopamine is lust
ACDC RoXoR: some other chemical is love
wafflesontheroof: our logical thought is just chemical reactions
ACDC RoXoR: yea
wafflesontheroof: can just as easily be changed with different chemicals
wafflesontheroof: thats why drugs affect how you think
ACDC RoXoR: yea
wafflesontheroof: they change the chemistry of ur brain
ACDC RoXoR: but thats a much less romantic way to think about it
wafflesontheroof: i know right
ACDC RoXoR: i rather like the whole afterlife and god thing
ACDC RoXoR: cause apparently, the "afterlife" is the 2 minutes that your brain is still alive after you die
ACDC RoXoR: and seeing as a nanosecond in your mind could easily be an eternity
wafflesontheroof: hm
ACDC RoXoR: that can easily account for the whole afterlife idea
ACDC RoXoR: as for the whole ghosts and what not
ACDC RoXoR: there ARE such things as mass hallucinations
wafflesontheroof: yea
ACDC RoXoR: and our mind can play tricks on us if we adamantly believe something will happen
ACDC RoXoR: so when you think about it
ACDC RoXoR: all the religions are correct
ACDC RoXoR: just as long as you adamantly believe it
ACDC RoXoR: cause your mind can make whatever you want in that 2 minutes
ACDC RoXoR: hell, for all we know
ACDC RoXoR: we could be IN that 2 mintues
ACDC RoXoR: like we live life, sure, but then we go and die, and now we are just reliving it
ACDC RoXoR: the whole "my life flashed before my eyes!"
ACDC RoXoR: could be here and now
ACDC RoXoR: and when people say "i dont know! i just... did it!"
ACDC RoXoR: well, maybe choices dont exist
ACDC RoXoR: mayeb its the illusion of decisions
ACDC RoXoR: the choices are already made
wafflesontheroof: yea
wafflesontheroof: i thoguht about that
wafflesontheroof: its like what ever you choose to do...the same things gonna happen
wafflesontheroof: to put it simply
ACDC RoXoR: yea
ACDC RoXoR: and you cant get around it
ACDC RoXoR: "oh, well, i want to do this... so i'll do the opposite! take that, fate!" yea, that was pre-ordained if fate exists
wafflesontheroof: yea
ACDC RoXoR: thats one big reason i love videogames and books
ACDC RoXoR: you knwo its not real, its interesting, and you can escape this thing we fancy a "reality"
wafflesontheroof: right
wafflesontheroof: have you ever thought about just not existing?
ACDC RoXoR: what do you mean
ACDC RoXoR: ?
wafflesontheroof: you get a really weird feeling
ACDC RoXoR: hmm
ACDC RoXoR: have you ever thouhgt that
ACDC RoXoR: the only thing thats real is our memories
ACDC RoXoR: we never actually live in the present
ACDC RoXoR: its just the illusion
ACDC RoXoR: there is a delay in everythign we do, regardless of how small
ACDC RoXoR: it takes time to transfer messages, think things out, decipher them, etc
wafflesontheroof: or not
ACDC RoXoR: well, if the memory is erased from every thing that was affected
ACDC RoXoR: its like nothing ever happened
ACDC RoXoR: we dont even know it didnt happen, cause all traces of it have been wiped
wafflesontheroof: yea
wafflesontheroof: or maybe were only living in the present
wafflesontheroof: and memories are just an illiousion of time
wafflesontheroof: so time is really kinda still
ACDC RoXoR: hmm
ACDC RoXoR: ever thouhgt that the world actually does revolve around you?
ACDC RoXoR: cause
ACDC RoXoR: for me
ACDC RoXoR: i sit here adn think
ACDC RoXoR: im the only one who thinks, hears, sees, etc
ACDC RoXoR: i realize that other people supposedly do
ACDC RoXoR: but
ACDC RoXoR: how do i know that life actually exists where im not involved?
wafflesontheroof: you dont know that
wafflesontheroof: yea
ACDC RoXoR: obviously, its not true for you, as i know otherwise
wafflesontheroof: right
ACDC RoXoR: and to you
ACDC RoXoR: its not true for me
wafflesontheroof: ive thought of it that way too
wafflesontheroof: but nobodies ever told me that i dont exist
ACDC RoXoR: i remember i was a kid
ACDC RoXoR: and i was confused how other people heard or saw
ACDC RoXoR: cause
ACDC RoXoR: i thouhg ti was the only person
ACDC RoXoR: kind of...
ACDC RoXoR: like, i cannot fathom not being here, and just watching me do other things
ACDC RoXoR: if you get that
ACDC RoXoR: like, being someone else
wafflesontheroof: yea
wafflesontheroof: when ever i think of how people see me
wafflesontheroof: and how it must be like to be them
wafflesontheroof: i feel really weird
ACDC RoXoR: yea
wafflesontheroof: and get sort of an out of body experience
ACDC RoXoR: haha
ACDC RoXoR: how do you dream?
ACDC RoXoR: do you dream watchign you or as you?
wafflesontheroof: idunno
wafflesontheroof: thinking of the afterlife
wafflesontheroof: i thought it might be like how we dream
wafflesontheroof: and we can just do whatever
ACDC RoXoR: hmm
ACDC RoXoR: my dreams are rather linear
ACDC RoXoR: i never make decisions
ACDC RoXoR: i just kinda hang out for the ride
wafflesontheroof: because when we dream were subconcious and we can only remember some of the dreams we dream...but when we die we can live and control our dreams
ACDC RoXoR: tho its usually how i would like it to be done anyway
wafflesontheroof: yea
ACDC RoXoR: and ive had both, watching, and living
ACDC RoXoR: like, ive been out of body, watching things go on
ACDC RoXoR: and ive also been in body, doing the things
wafflesontheroof: in the dream?
ACDC RoXoR: yea
wafflesontheroof: yea
wafflesontheroof: me 2
wafflesontheroof: whats it all mean?
ACDC RoXoR: i have no idea
ACDC RoXoR: lol
ACDC RoXoR: makes life interesting, to say the least
ACDC RoXoR: extrordinarily complicated as well
ACDC RoXoR: lol
wafflesontheroof: seriously
wafflesontheroof: i guess nomatter how hard we think about it
wafflesontheroof: its gonna be the same for everybody
ACDC RoXoR: and we cant exactly find out the truth
ACDC RoXoR: and if someone does
wafflesontheroof: no matter what happens before or after death or while living its the same for everyone
ACDC RoXoR: no one will believe them
wafflesontheroof: yea
wafflesontheroof: i will
ACDC RoXoR: hmm
ACDC RoXoR: anywhoo
ACDC RoXoR: i have a lot of homework
ACDC RoXoR: still
ACDC RoXoR: lol
wafflesontheroof: seriously
ACDC RoXoR: so i think imm ahave to let this convo die
ACDC RoXoR: lol
wafflesontheroof: yea
wafflesontheroof: good convo tho
wafflesontheroof: deep
ACDC RoXoR: aye

--Adam

lalla bored

2006-08-24T01:08:41Z

ahhh well at the request of my wonderful, talented, and beautiful friend charlsie.... i made a live journal... acutally no, i made it of my own free will, and thats jus cause im ever so bored..... hahaha, wlel me rents are at back to skool nite... so im good for now, but i think they should be coming home soon..... crap... lol.... :-P well whatever...

--Adam